I smile at the thoughts, before anything ever happens. I close my
eyes and I can see the scene play out before me. I start watching the
clock just as the morning gives way to the afternoon. The steady and
predictable movements of the second hand give my eyes something to pay
attention to because my mind is racing. There is no rhyme or reason, no
sense of fast or slow, so the clock becomes my meditative focal point.
Telephones are ringing, people are talking, and deadlines are looming
overhead. All of this attempt to distract me by overwhelming me.
Car
horns blaring, people cursing, pedestrians moseying across the street.
The longing grows and I tap my fingers on the steering wheel. I turn on
the radio, and then turn it off, again. I smile at the thought of the
text message I received, whetting my appetite further. The temptation to
re-read it is great, but I resist. There is little safety in going
back, when there is so much left to do; so much further to go.
With
just one more corner to turn, a gentle rain begins to fall. I smile. It
is just like the clock, this afternoon. It provides a sense of
staccato, keeping time for me. This should not be rushed. The raindrops
roll down the windshield creating patterns that could obscure my view. I
turn on the window wipers. I need to focus and the sound is enough. The
water sloshes to the side of the window and slide off the side of the
car. When I pull the car into the garage, I can smell dinner cooking. I
sit back and allow the aroma fill my nostrils; steak and potatoes. It
would seem that it would be too much to indulge in with the after dinner
plans requiring so much energy. Not for us. We need the sustenance. We
are giving ourselves what we need to do what we desire; what we have
longed for all day long. The anticipation is part of the success.
The
table has been wiped clean and the dishes are put away. Total attention
can be paid to the way we choose to end our day. He takes my hand. It’s
warm, and so am I. We turn off the lights and start the assent of the
stairs and the descent to the bed. Yes, this was worth the wait. It was
worth the distractions and the wading through the water. It was worth
the preparation of a good meal and the putting away of the dishes. It
was worth it to see his smile. It was worth it for him to see mine.
Climax…round one.
