IT IS ... UNTIL IT ISN'T

The life we live is governed by social constraints. We are immersed in the dos and don’ts of the world in which we exist. We are submerged in the etiquette of our time and doused with the familial adaptations of such. The old adage, “We are a product of our environment” is more true than we would like to believe. We go about our daily business making sure that we fit the bill and those with whom we associate are expected to do likewise. If not, the sense of guilt that invades our false sense of peace is immeasurable. We feel the wet ink stain of the REBEL imprinted upon our foreheads and no matter how we attempt to ignore it, its liquid shame runs down our face and into our eyes. We are blinded by it. The lines of our dynamic backdrop are blurred and askew. We cannot make out the horizon. We stumble forward, groping and hoping that we are headed in the direction of the impossible…if we believe the hype.

The mold was set by our forefathers and our immediate caste (I mean family) added a slight spin, but never truly broke free. We are in the matrix. Even our rebellion is text book. We walk, talk, love, laugh, live, work and die in line. Anyone who dares to claim their uniqueness merely takes the garment and changes it color. She/he may shorten or lengthen the code, but it is cut from the same cloth. Any real variation from the “norm” is rarely seen. Life is as life has been with varying shades of green, blue, white and yellow. There is nothing new under the sun. We dance to the same music, played by the same instruments that we convince ourselves is nothing like it was – all cut from the same tree, shaved off of the same animal, created in the same laboratories.

I have come to wonder, in the not so recent past, if we can really call to action “Be in the world, but not of it.” We flow along the same channels, being transported by the ebb and flow of each nuance and wave. We take into consideration those around us and call into remembrance the definition and meaning of our lives from our ancestral common thread. What did our forefathers do when times got hard? I am not referring strictly to the course of action in which they realized the manifestation of their desires. We look back on the thought process that got them to their goal and utilize that as a barometer to gauge life’s events and our interactions with those whom we come into contact with on our journey. We take our finite view and experience and define everyone and everything we come in contact with, taking no thought of their process. We judge. We condemn. We damage and hurt people with our tunnel vision; it is this way, until it isn’t.

As believers we must understand that our societal norms are not based on community, it is based on separatism. We are encouraged to think about how a certain action will benefit self. We are programmed to look for the personal profit in what happens around us. We can pretend it is not the case, until we cannot pretend anymore. We can do unto others as we would have them do unto us, until we can’t. We can give, until we can’t. We smile, until we can’t. We engage and participate and revel in accomplishments, until we can’t. We perform…until we can’t. Then what? We begin to push against the mold. We fight against the constraints. We experience stress, pressure and tension in our soul because we are kicking against the pricks of expectation and adaptation. Our mind tries to expand and the cast bulges. This creates friction in our circles because, at times, we want to experience the polar opposite of what is our life. We are happy, until we’re not.

We believers have God, in Christ, in us. He is the same, yesterday, today and forever. He is immutable…unchanging. He was. He is. He is to come. Yet, we live out the mundane looking for the supernatural end. Our lives, lived in this world, are not to be experienced the same fashion, as those who don’t acknowledge God. We walk behind the mold; we are not imprisoned within it. We act and respond from a place that cannot be tainted by what is sensual or temporal. Our perspective is eternal. It is…and it will forever be. When life happens, we reach inward to a place well beyond our focal reality to have an experience which supersedes the norm. We are created in His image and in His likeness. We have a means that is not of this world by which we can determine what the outcome will be by having the belief/faith of God. When He spoke, He created. He did not take into account what He experienced with five senses. He knew it, spoke it, believed it and it was. It still is.

REALIZED LOVE

Mankind is quick to proclaim love then inflate it in an attempt to cause the recipient of said love to believe that this love is different from all others. Both males and females are guilty of doing this. Our infatuation with the thought of another person becoming vulnerable to our emotion is a great boost to our ego. We consider the immediate present, cast the moment across time and create a blanket of here and now into eternity. “My big love, dissimilar from anything you have ever experienced, will last forever. You can count on it when you can count on nothing else.” This statement, we hope, will elicit a trust to rival that of mother and newborn child. In our minds, it is true; albeit tied to this precise and particular moment. And, yes, there are times when we can stretch and lengthen that minute into times – equaling to hours, days and even years.

We move from this span of time to the next thriving and surviving off of our grandiose infatuation. Can it really be called love until it is tested? Is it possible to love someone without questioning motives and intentions in an attempt to know them in a way that no one else does? Is love birthed or does it evolve? Is it one thing, and then go through a metamorphosis to become real love? Metamorphosis is a profound change from one stage to the next.  It is a complete change of form, structure, or substance; a transformation. Love is created through the process of morphing from stage to stage, moment to moment, and time to time.

Love is patient and patience is developed through trials and experiences. It grows and magnifies as the opportunity to exercise it presents itself. There are situations that require less patience than another. Thus, this characteristic of love is expanded and stretched over time. In true love there is no breaking point. The elasticity of love never remains brittle; it grows ever stronger as it moves from fire to fire. When one fire creates a frailty another fire is needed to realign the DNA makeup of it. Whenever this phenomenon is experienced, some “love” experience fractures. It is in this moment that conditions are realized. To give the benefit of the doubt, most proclamations of unconditional love are perceived as true – and it is, within the confines of that particular moment. It isn’t until patience is worn thin, without the effort to reinforce it, that a realization of limitations is exposed.

Love does not hunt for its own way; it is not self-seeking. In our society, this characteristic of love is not fostered. We are conditioned to embrace the “What about me?” or “What have you done for me, lately?” state of mind. Western civilization has thrived off of looking to please oneself and sometimes to the hurt of those we say we love. Again, we can stave off (or hide) this stipulation for a period of time. However, if we feel like we are giving more than we are getting then we feel an innate compulsion to find ways to “do me.” Our love for material things often cause us to ignore the things that we need the most to survive as loving beings. A new dawning appears as we consider what we are lacking, without grasping hold of the wealth of humanity-laden needs that are being met. I am not talking about those situations where the basic financial necessities are being withheld. There is a safety in knowing that bills can be paid, food put on the table, and a roof over ones head. People need to feel safe. I am referring to the fluff – the pomp and circumstance that is visible to the outside world. This is where most of us draw the line, so to speak. When we begin to believe that if others cannot witness this love, in a manner that is visible to the naked eye, then ‘love’ grows cold and dies (like a neglected fire in a fireplace).

God has given us a blueprint that allows us to measure our claims to love. 1 Corinthians 13 is a real example of unconditional love; love that never fails or remains thin and brittle. It is stretched, but never breaks. It is strengthened in the same furnace that creates weakness. Real love becomes malleable through tests and trials so it can be shaped in a manner that prepares it for what is to come. Once it has been re-shaped, heat is needed to strengthen it for its new purpose.

It may be of great benefit to understand that true love is created through transformation. In the beginning, we are intrigued with the promise that is held within fascination. In order for it to blossom and morph into God’s definition of love, we have to embrace the process. Just as a caterpillar move through the hidden pupa stage in order to emerge as a butterfly, thus is love. As metal is forged into its finished product through the process of heating, cooling and re-heating, love grows stronger as it endures the fiery kiln of difficulty. This is when we realize any conditions that were hidden from view. It is here that we are faced with our personal commitment to our profession of love; where we surrender to the process that produces a profound change – love that does not wax cold.

FRET NOT!

          

           Fret. A powerful four letter word. We are commissioned, by God, to “Fret not because of…” To be burned or kindled with anger. How often have you said, “It just burns me up”? Maybe it wasn’t you. Perhaps it was someone you have conversed with – a family member, a friend or co-worker.

            Fret. To feel or express worry, annoyance, or discontent. This definition may bring it closer to home. You watch someone do some shady business and somehow they get ‘rewarded’ in spite of the means that were used to get to the conclusion. It’s annoying. It chafes you. It just doesn’t sit right, in your spirit. We have tried to gain solace in the scripture, “Fret not thyself because of evil doers.” Do we take it there? Do we call them ‘evil doers’?

            Some of us, I dare not say all or even most, choose to live our lives out doing things the way God ordains. We seek the Lord, listen for His voice, and follow His instructions to the letter. We do not allow ourselves any input nor do we assign a conclusion. We just trust God with the outcome of our life’s events and find peace in knowing that He directs our steps. We are keeping our eyes on the prize and not on our neighbor, those we work and/or go to school with or that family member that seems to find success at every turn. *Crickets! Crickets!*

            I want to take our focus of off the passage that comes so readily to our mind and take a look at this … Fret. To compete. Pause and carefully think about it. Let it wash over you. Mull it around. Swish it around in your mouth like a fine wine (or grape juice). Fretting – being overly concerned with the way someone else is doing things and their outcome can lead to competition. “If Bob or Fran are doing it that way, and it seems to be working for them, maybe I should do it that way, as well.” Let us not forget that we are going to ‘tag’ God in on our plan (which is really Bob’s and Fran’s plan) looking for His blessing and provision.

            The Israelites, when they were in the wilderness, began to fret about Egypt and the Egyptians. Think about it. They began to reminisce about the food they enjoyed (in slavery, all the while complaining about it). They began to think the ways of the Egyptians got things done, so they pooled their God-given booty together to create an idol. The Egyptians, evil-doers, were idol worshippers and things got done in Egypt. The Israelites took fretting all the way. And at times, so do we. Admit it. How many times have you changed the way you handle things based on what you have seen others do? I am not talking about successful God-fearing mentors, but those who seem to be getting it done. The movers and the shakers.

            Fret. A worn or eroded place; to cause corrosion; to make a way by gnawing. Eventually, as we keep our eyes on what is happening outside of our true sphere of influence (in someone else’s lane), it eats away at our faith and our confidence that God’s plan and process for our lives will not produce the outcome that we are looking for. We become worn down in our search for our path and our way that has been ordained by Him. The thoughts that others are setting goals and achieving them in a timeframe that has been set by God knows who, vexes our spirit and we become restless – just like the Israelites. We start creating our own golden calf and doing things we see others doing and appearing successful. It creates friction within our relationship with God and we turn to things – regimens, schemes, processes and plans – that have not been written into our story.

            God says He has thoughts and plans that are specific to each one of us. We just need to learn how to be yielded and still enough to hear what He has to say. He says to be still and know that He is God – we are not the gods of our own lives. He will direct our footsteps for our path. He will give us plans and insight into what we should do to prepare for our destiny.

            FRET NOT!