Beholden - Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO

The atmosphere, in the car, belied the message they just heard preached by Pastor Zeke. The tension and anxiety was thick and palpable. Katriel removed her iPod from her purse and put the ear buds into her ears. She turned the volume up just enough to drown out her father’s words. She hated when he was like this, especially after church service. She had been feeling a bit hopeful listening to the sermon on love and its unconditional nature. She wanted to believe that there was such a thing out there in the world, because she sure as hell did not recognize it in her own home. She could not understand what her father had to be angry about, this morning. Breakfast was prepared and still hot when he made it to the table, prior to them leaving for church. Her mother had seemed to be in a good mood despite the fact that she had an emergency surgery to perform in the wee hours of the morning. She could not have had more than two hours of sleep before taking up her place in the kitchen to prepare the morning meal. Katriel felt good about the day…but her father quickly snatched the joy right out of the air.

“I don’t understand why they could not have called another surgeon in to do the procedure. You mean to tell me that you are the only pediatric cardiologist at Mercy Medical Center, Nora?” The venom in Gavin’s voice was evident.

“Like I told you, Gavin, the little girl is my patient. Of course, they would not call another surgeon in to take care of her. It is my responsibility,” Nora’s words were soft.

“You seem to have quite a list of patients, Nora. What kind of doctor can you be, if all of the children you care for need so much attention? Can’t you do anything right?”

Nora remained silent. She hated when Gavin was like this. His words were intentionally hurtful and mean. She spoke a silent prayer asking God to eradicate the effects of his words. She knew she was a good doctor and surgeon. She knew that he was just acting this way because the call came in after they had gone to bed and it disturbed his rest. She knew he could not mean what he was saying …he was just angry. She turned her head to look out of the passenger side window. They had been sitting at a light and she realized the people in the car next to them could hear Gavin. The woman looked pitiably in her direction, and then sped off once the light turned green.

“I know you hear me talking to you, Nora. You better give me an answer. What the hell did you do to that little girl that required her to need emergency surgery in the middle of the night? You’re a quack! I don’t understand how you keep your job,” he spat the words, like a bitter gall, in her direction.

“Gavin, she has a grave condition called aortic valve insufficiency…” Nora began.

“Don’t come at me with those grand diagnoses, Nora. It does not concern me what she has, just that you are the one caring for her and she is not getting any better.”

Nora sighed and gave up the illusion that she could convince her husband. It had been a long while, if
ever, since she could say anything that would sway him one way or the other. She returned her attention to the passing landscape. She resisted the urge to cry. It would only make things worse. She felt most sad that Katriel, their sixteen-year-old daughter, had to be a witness to her father’s tirades. She did not want her child to grow up in an environment as she did. Her mother and father were constantly at war with each other, when she was younger. Both gave to fits of rage and she could not wait until she could get out from under their roof. There was not a day that went by that did not end with her parents being at each other’s throat. One or the other had a bad day at work, which spawned a torrential and heated debate between the two of them. Her mother slammed pots and pans while her father slammed doors and she would sit quietly in her room waiting for one of them to yell out her name for some reason or other.

An ominous silence filled the rest of the ride home. Gavin was seething, as he made his way down the street to their home. He just wanted some peace, in his life. His job, as chief of police, was stressful enough. He had a bunch of idiots working under him and he had an incompetent wife with a grandiose profession. It embarrassed him that she could not do her job well enough. He was sure their friends and neighbors knew she was called to the hospital at all hours of the night. He was also certain that they knew it was because she did not do her job right the first time, which was the cause of so many trips to Mercy. For all he knew, she did this on purpose just so she did not have to be at home taking care of her responsibilities. He should not have to be disturbed by the incessant buzzing of her beeper or her hushed tones on the phone when speaking to the after-hours receptionist. He needed his sleep if he was to perform his duties at work and her job was keeping him from getting it. His lack of sleep made him irritable and she knew it.

He turned into the Eagle Ridge subdivision and made his way to their home on Long Creek Lane. He pressed the remote to have the garage door open before turning into the driveway. He eased his car into the empty space, next to Nora’s, put the car in ‘park’ and turned it off. After pulling the key out of the ignition, he turned to his wife and sighed. She knew not to get out of the car until he was ready. He just looked at her, in disgust. He remembered when things were much simpler. They dated throughout college. He was a criminal justice major and she was working toward her doctorate. She was the older woman that caught his attention on campus. She walked with an air of confidence that intrigued him. He told his frat brothers that he was going to have her and they laughed him to shame. He proved them wrong and he was the one laughing when it was all said and done. He had persuaded her to allow him to take her to dinner, one autumn evening. He knew he was charming and had a way to make any woman feel good about herself. Even if he did not believe what he was saying, he could convince them to believe it. He really did a number on Nora.

She quickly turned the tables on him and got herself pregnant. He should have known she was the type that wanted to trap a good man, like himself. He did the honorable thing and married her to keep her quiet. She nagged him about being an unwed mother, and how that would hurt her parents. She should have thought about that before she engaged in unprotected sex, with him. He never understood why she wasn’t on birth control, in the first place. She had the unmitigated gall to expect him to wear a condom. He insisted that he would not get any pleasure out of the deal, wearing one of those, and he refused every time. She was so selfish. None of the other girls complained about it, he did not know why she was making such a big deal. The only thing he could think of was that she was only concerned about her own orgasm. She knew he came faster without one, he told her so. It was no surprise to him when she blamed him for her unplanned pregnancy, but he quickly let her know who was to blame. It was her fault, not his.

When Katriel was born, Nora had finished her finals and was preparing for residency. There was no way she could keep those hours and care for a newborn, so her parents suggested that they move in with them and they would take on the responsibility of caring for the baby. Gavin was furious at the notion and even angrier when Nora agreed. He thought she should have given up her idea of becoming a doctor once they had gotten married and Katriel appeared. He was finishing graduate school and accepted into the police academy, which was used as part of her argument why moving in with her parents was a good idea. It would allow them to pursue their dreams with assurance that Katriel well taken care of by people who loved her. When he suggested that Nora stay home with the baby, she flat out refused. She asserted that her having a baby did not warrant such a drastic decision. She had been working toward becoming a doctor since she began high school and she was too close to give that up. He told her that she should have thought about that before getting herself knocked up. She gave him an incredulous look and walked out of the room. She learned that day not to walk away from him.

Despite his objections, Nora did not quit her job and they moved in with her parents so her parents could care for the baby. He had to admit, if only to himself, that this arrangement worked out for the best. He did not have to concern himself with a crying baby and Nora’s residency hours left him plenty of time to do what he wanted. He spent many nights out drinking with his fellow academy mates and they spent most of those nights carousing with young, impressionable girls. Just because Nora wanted to be bound by the sanctity of marriage and monogamy, it did not mean that was the life for him. He was still young and in his prime; one woman was not enough for him, he needed more. And, more is what he had gotten. He did not know how many women he let ride him in the back of his car, and he didn’t care. Also, not one time did they request he wear a condom, as his wife had done back in college. Besides, Nora was too busy with rounds that she did not have the time to satisfy him, so what was a man to do?

He smiled, to himself, at the memory. He looked back on his academy days, often. He was top of his class and his instructors advised he would go far. He aspired to be commissioner, someday, but he first had to endure the process. He hated having to walk the beat early in his career. He had hoped that rite of passage would have been extinct before he would have to do it. He hated the elderly women looking down at him and advising that he should be doing more to keep their streets safe. He took his anger out on the street thugs who thought they were tough. He would usher them into the nearest alley and give them a beat down with his nightstick. It was rare that he made an arrest, because he didn’t want them complaining to higher ups, so he warned them and sent them on their way. He shook down the local drug dealer, confiscating his goods and distributing them amongst his comrades. He became very familiar with the local prostitutes, as well. There was never a shortage of eager women willing to do anything to not be taken down and booked at the precinct.
Katriel ended his reverie. “Can we get out of the car, now?”

“Get out!” He barked.

Once inside, Katriel proceeded up the stairs to her bedroom and closed the door. She did not want to be bothered with the foolishness that had become her parents. She could not wait until she finished high school and could leave the confines of this house. She worked hard not to hate her father and even harder to not think her mother weak. She did not understand why she tolerated her father’s constant railing. Her mother was a successful surgeon. She made plenty of money and could easily survive without her father’s income. Sure, he made a decent living, but he was not the breadwinner of the family. She knew that had to grate on him. The fact that a woman made more money than him had to be degrading. He walked around their house as if he was the king of the castle and her mother allowed it. Her mother never threw it up in her father’s face that her salary trumped his. She could have, but never did. Katriel did not think she would have let an opportunity go by without reminding him that he was not needed to sustain this household. For this reason, she was going to make sure that she and her husband were on equal terms, financially. No one would be able to lord anything over the other one. Moreover, even though her father did not earn respect, her mother always gave it to him anyway.

Katriel threw herself onto her bed and looked out of the window. She heard her mother’s footsteps coming up their stairway and hoped she was not heading to her room. She hated it when she wanted to excuse and apologize for her father’s behavior. It was not for her to do. He should be the one making amends and smoothing things over. She remembered the pastor talking about how the husband was supposed to love the wife as Christ loved the church. She did not believe her father loved her mother. He tolerated her and that infuriated Katriel. How dare he think he deserved the love and respect her mother wasted on him. He did nothing to earn it. He was constantly degrading her and belittling her contribution to the staff at Mercy. He was not the doting husband of an acclaimed pediatric cardiologist. Instead, he was the tyrant of 7 Long Creek Lane. He patrolled the rooms of this house, as if he patrolled the streets back in the day. He ranted and raved. He flailed and flung. He stormed and raged. He was pathetic. Her mother had to know it, yet she never showed it. She tolerated his tantrums and appeased the spoiled beast.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the door of her parents’ bedroom close. Her mother was probably crying or praying. Katriel was sure that was the only thing that kept her feet planted in this marriage – prayer. She wondered how much relief she could really be getting from it, when it seemed like there was no change. Did God even hear her? Her father appeared to be getting worse by the day. There were times when she hoped he would be killed on the job. She felt bad for thinking such a terrible thing about her father, but she could not help it. He didn’t deserve to be breathing the same air as those who sought to make life better for those around them. He swore to uphold justice in the world, yet he was the source of all the injustice that happened within these four walls. Why couldn’t someone just put a bullet in his head? She knew he had to have a multitude (or gaggle, as her mom would say) of enemies out there who wished for his demise. She and her mom would be much better off if he was not in the picture.

Gavin closed the door to his study and walked over to the bar. He poured himself a glass of Angel’s Envy bourbon and sat down in his leather recliner. He turned to look out onto expansive lawn in the back of his house. The patio was just off to the left and he caught sight of the fire pit and chairs surrounding it. He walked out into the yard, through the glass doors, and headed toward the seats. He thought of starting a fire and decided against it – it was too hot. He eased himself onto one of the lounge chairs and put his feet up. He sensed a presence behind him and turned to see Mavet standing close by.

“She doesn’t get it, does she Gavin?” Mavet asked, as he sat in nearby chair.

“No,” Gavin sipped his drink.

“I understand.”

“I know you do. You seem to be the only one who does,” he downed the rest of the bourbon, closed his eyes and sighed.

Mavet drew closer. “Talk to me, Gavin.”

He allowed his anger to spill out of him, in a rush. He opened up, exposing all of his inner turmoil and rage. He enjoyed the license Mavet gave him and he took the opportunity to bare his soul.